just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize