1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm always down for nudity.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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