i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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