id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
