Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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