Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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