is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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