My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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