So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
