Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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