I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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