He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
