what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
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Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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