i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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