Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize