forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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