i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
