obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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