he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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