Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
