My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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