shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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