you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
