He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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