dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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