Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
