Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
