Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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