I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
