so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
