I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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