fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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