Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
