sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she was so not down for the gang bang
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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