She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize