Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
