I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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