You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
