Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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