so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
