Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
