Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
accomplished twins. life is a go
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
