Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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