I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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