im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
