What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize