My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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