I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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