3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
