You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
