You work out of a Hotel?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
