Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
