wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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