I want to make a zoo with you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
