he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
