Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's get the cat blown out
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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