If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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