Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
