I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize