All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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